Why We Wait

So, I realized I haven't been on here since the end of September, which is so terrible! SO many things have happened. Really great things and really hard things. I am so blessed I will have a couple of weeks at home where I can post much more and hopefully update you too!

People have been asking me a question a lot lately and it bugs me like no other! I figured I'd write a post about it and hopefully my thoughts will make sense and my thinking will as well.

There's something that really bugs me about Christians. And its relationships. It seems as though so many Christians have their take on a time line and when is an appropriate length to date and then get engaged and then married. I don't agree with any of it at all, if I'm being completely honest. And some will say we got married because we knew we couldn't be pure anymore if we waited...well then where's the self-control? Anyways, that's one point that I won't talk about! Matt and I have such a different take on dating as Christians. Some will agree, some will disagree, but ultimately its God who agrees with us. And you may be asking yourself why is Tara even posting this? Well, because Matt and I have been dating for over 3 years and everyone always asks us why are you waiting? Or, why aren't you engaged yet? Or, why wait?

Here is our answer...

We love God! Matt and I are committed to loving God and serving him above ALL else, even one another. God commands us to do this! (Matt 6:33)

We also know that we would be selfish if we were to be engaged and married now because well it just isn't what God wants for us. We highly value God's timing. I think so many people just rush into things in life, and not just marriage. Matt and I KNOW marriage is probably the second most life-changing and hardest decisions we will ever make in life (besides surrendering our lives to Jesus). To us, God honors us when we wait for his perfect timing. He does! He works out all things so that he may be glorified and that is exactly what Matt and I want. When the time is God's timing, we will know, and he will be glorified so much more than if we rushed into everything! (Heb 6:12, Isaiah 40:31).

We love knowing each other. I think a fear we both have is not knowing one another well enough. We are daily learning about each others strengths, weaknesses, sins, goals, dreams, etc. AND WE LOVE IT!!!! And I know we won't know each other well enough until we are living together. We are able to work through conflict and understand how to problem solve together. It stinks at times but after it is so rewarding and we see God's hand working through us! We really want to make sure we understand one another and love each other. (Eph 4:32)

We love each other, a lot. Some Christians worry about saying "I love you" or letting the other person know how much you truly love them until you are married. While I think this has its own ups and downs, Matt and I just don't agree with it! We are called to love one another and to be open about it. And Matt and I waited for a very long time until we finally professed that we loved each other, but it was in God's perfect timing!!!! We love each other through the hurts, the shame, the guilt, the joy, the sadness, the excitement, the grace, and the truth of our relationship and we wouldn't have it any other way! (John 13:34, John 15:17)

We DO have a desire to get married, oh trust me! I cannot WAIT until Matt and I are married one day. Our biggest dream is to have a family surrendered to Jesus and loving one another. We know God wants us to be together and that we will be married. Marriage is a desire for us both and God will bless us, we just love taking things slow and growing together as people and Christians. (Psalm 37:4)

Our plans are never our plans. I laugh when I write this last one! Matt and I have had our own plans in our head before with a timeline but last summer we talked about how our plans really aren't ours, they are God's. That we must walk BY FAITH and help one another trust in God's timing. If God were to say to Matt now is the time to ask Tara to be your wife, he would be obedient and do it. God continues to change his plans for our lives. I never thought I would be interning with Cru at this time last year and that was God's timing and plan and put "my plan for marriage" back a bit. And Matt is now starting his graduate program and that is 1.5 year. While we could be engaged and married during this time we just don't know! And we want to honor God. Like I said before, we are committed to God first and foremost and when he continues to change our direction in life, we will follow him first, always!

So, with all of that being said we wait! I love this verse in 2 Timothy 4:7, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." Matt encouraged me with this last year when many of our close friends were getting engaged. Sometimes I think there is something very wrong with me when many of the girls around me are getting married. BUT! God constantly reminds me that it isn't about that at all. Its about trusting in his perfect timing and continuing to walk by faith...having faith in God and faith in each other. Matt and I believe that if we continue walking with God and waiting for him, we will be married, and our marriage will hopefully reflect this verse by being faithful to one another and fighting for each other.

Nothing annoys me more than when people ask when we are "finally going to get engaged." I know what we value and I think many people don't realize what all of that is! We love being set apart and different. We love knowing each other and learning more about each other. We are best friends and there is nothing better than knowing you are with your best friend! We value what we have so very much...the stories and the trials, and the fact that we've been dating for over 3 years is such a testimony of God! When we started dating we were still young Christians, new to our faith and now look at where we are. Its absolutely beautiful and God created our story to be ours :) There is no rush because reality is if Jesus comes back before we get married he comes back and we enter into his heavenly kingdom where marriage matters some but I don't think we will remember at all :) We will continue to walk by faith and choose God's timing over ours because that is what this life is all about!