Grief

Grieving is something that I've never quite comprehended. Through all the loss I've faced and the significant amount of deaths, its still something I'm trying to face and realize it is okay to be weak and cry and that crying doesn't make me any less stronger than I am.

These past two weeks have been so extremely hard. My Papa lost his battle to cancer and he was always the strength I looked to in my life. All he had done, all he had accomplished, how he valued his family above all, how he loved unconditionally, and the joy he had for life. My Papa was a wonderful man and a man I desire to be with one day. In my Papa's last few weeks on this earth and said "I don't want to leave this wonderful family." He was scared to leave the one thing he loved most...me and my family. WOW. Talk about a man of strength, who admitted he loved his family more than himself or all he had accomplished and done in life! Now, that's a real man. And he started it all. He wasn't passive like many men are today.

There's a few passages I've been rereading over and over again that give me comfort and hope but the one that stands out most is Psalm 147. My God heals the (my) brokenhearted, he binds up their (my) wounds (v. 3). My God KNOWS what I need, when I need him and he is near. His understanding has NO limits (v. 5) and he sustains the humble (v. 6). My God sustains me when everyone else around me fails or cannot offer me what my God can offer me, which is the world and the truth of his saving grace, his unfailing love, and his powerful strength. He blesses me and grants me peace (v. 14). Praise be to God!

His ways are perfect. His love is unfailing. His strength sustains me. Always.