Home

Well after a 10-hour car ride, four stops, and $70 of gas, I am finally home. I cannot even begin to fathom how fast the past six weeks have come and gone, where I am now, and where I am headed. All I can say is wow, and I would totally do that over again if I ever get the chance!

When I left on May 23rd, I never imagined how God would work in and through me the way he did. He provided for me more than I ever asked for and it is wild to think about...the power of prayer is HUGE in a Christian's life. I think I will take you through my prayers and how God answered them in this post: Before leaving, I prayed for my small group. I prayed they would bond, love one another, and grow as sisters. My small group LOVES each other like crazy. I literally have never in my life seen another group of girls who are so completely different bond and love each other. They raise one another up in prayer, eat together, laugh together, spend loads of time with one another, and are beautiful women of God and sisters. I also prayed in my discipleship time with them they would be teachable and want to grow more intimately with the Lord. Again, God answered those prayers because my girls were all so incredibly patient, flexible, teachable, and willing to let go of things and surrender them at the foot of the cross. Before leaving I also prayed God would provide me money because I would have no job for six weeks and no job returning home. I was able to be refunded $250 and $100 of which I still have left! Money has always been a comfort, so when it was stripped away, I had nothing. I was able to buy groceries and gas and even go shopping a few times with money still to spare, mmmm answers! As for me, I prayed that God would use me. That I wouldn't just teach and do my "duties" but that I would pour into women and God would use me as a tool for them. My girls were coming to me in our free time and even other women on the project.  By opening up, being vulnerable, and available, the student women sought me out, what a blessing and answer to prayer!

These were the major answers to prayer. However, there were other bonus'. For the first time in my life, God taught me about forgiveness. Not forgiveness of others, but forgiving myself for the things of my past and the things I have been holding on to and holding me back. Holding me back from a more intimate and freeing walk with Him. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my back and I can walk with independence from others thoughts and judgements, with confidence in the woman I am, and fully surrendered to Him! Going along the lines of this, God also opened up my eyes to my relationship with Matt. While we do honor Him in so many ways, there are ways and times we fail over and over again...and there are things to focus on and work on. The clarity is beautiful and the way I trust Matt and respect him as a man of the Lord has grown immensely. I know that we are together for a reason and while I, like any other Christian woman in a relationship, hope this one day leads to marriage, BUT I also have no idea if that is true or not. While we can pray and hope our relationship does end up in marriage, only our Father knows the ending. I am simply blessed that we help each other towards Jesus, and that is the BEST we can do! :) I am content. Content I feel like in the first time since we have been dating. I have no worries. I have no doubts. I have nothing to live up to. I am simply Tara Underwood dating the man I love and surrendering and pouring my heart into Jesus.

I miss OCMD terribly. I miss hanging out on the porch of the 3 Jacks. I miss hearing Jenna play and lead worship. I miss my staff team. I miss the men and women who are growing and becoming men and women of the Lord. I miss the ocean. Quiet times on the Bay. The sunsets over the Bay. The Darby. The Frey and Baker children. The parallel parking I fail miserably at. I know I completed what God set out for me to do. And it is the most amazing feeling in the world. I can say one thing, I have never felt so loved and appreciated by anyone in my entire life. I came to OCMD as a shy and fearful woman full of unanswered questions and I left OCMD as a confident and loving woman with answers to many questions and a confirmation. I know it is from the encouragement, the love, the many thank yous and you are so beautiful. This is what makes ministry so fun and enjoyable :)

And now the job searchING begins...