A beautiful story

This morning at 8:55 a.m. my handsome, loving, and strong Papa went to heaven. He left his family--a wonderful wife, four beautiful children, and 13 precious grandchildren. He met with God at the gates of Heaven and because of his life, his new acceptance of Jesus, and his love, he entered through those gates and is now peacefully at rest rejoicing with Jesus and the victory Jesus has over death. It is because of Jesus' sacrifice and death that my Papa is in Heaven...our God loves us THAT much.

Papa Underwood has so many cool things about him. He and my Nana got married right out of high school and began to raise their own family. At one time he worked three separate jobs so he could provide money to have my Nana stay at home and raise his children. He ended up going back to college at Southern Maine and graduating the same year my mom did. He worked at the Bath Iron Works on ships. He was a handy man and helped with carpentry. He taught drivers education and was a great drawer. He loved to fish and read mysteries. Westerns were his favorite thing to watch on television and documentaries on WWI and WWII. Of course he loved his Redskins and Red Sox too! He also got to see 13 grandchildren grow up, graduate from high school, go to college, and be at two of their weddings.

My Papa was such a fun, loving giver of life. I can always remember him never being mad and if he ever was, it wasn't longer than for 5 minutes, at the most. His temper was short lived and he always had a smile on his face. In my youth, my Nana and Papa would drive down from Maine on a Friday morning and when I returned home from school I would see their car parked in my driveway and I would run inside to see my Papa sitting in his normal spot in our living room chair. He would say "Ta-RA!" and I would run to him and he would kiss me on the lips. There was nothing more better than being wrapped in my Papa's arms...the comfort, the love, and the joy radiated from those moments. My Papa loved brushing my hair and always loved my long hair, which is one of the reasons why I've been letting it grow. Its been a whole year since it was last cut because I know how much he loved it. My Papa was also the very first man who ever told me I was beautiful, one of the most beautiful girls he had ever met in his life and that he loved me so much.

Like most young girls I dreamed of finding a fairy tale boy and falling in love. From the time I was little I desired to find a man like my Papa. To be so madly in love it drives me crazy. To have four beautiful children. To watch my grandchildren grow up. To be happy and live a full life. This is my Papa's story. My Papa fell in love with my Nana so quickly. Whenever me and my Papa would be alone, he would always ask me about the boys in my life and I usually would answer with "nobody Pup" and he would always say "that's because you are too beautiful and you scare all the good ones away, just wait." Then he would tell his story of how quickly he fell in love with my Nana. How it was love at first sight and he just knew it. He told me about the dates they would go on and like any love story how he is so in love still and that Nana is the most beautiful and amazing woman he has ever known. It was always during these moments that I wanted to find a man like my Papa who still talked about his wife and the love of his life in this way. You could tell that he was so in love just by the smile and tone of his voice, he was always so excited. In fact I know my Papa died still so completely in love with my Nana. When I went to visit him this past Saturday I was in the room with my mom and my Nana. My Nana was trying to wake him up and he opened his eyes, puckered his lips, and picked up his head to kiss my Nana on the lips. Even in his pain and sickness, he STILL was so in love with my Nana. It was one of the coolest "love" moments I have ever experienced and their love story is just so real and beautiful. I still desire that love story and I know my Papa wants that love story for all 13 of his grandchildren, and two of them already have that.

Last Saturday when I went to visit my Papa I didn't know what kind of day it was going to be. I hadn't seen my Papa since January because I'm away in Maryland at school all year and then I was blessed with the opportunity to lead a missions trip in Ocean City. When I first saw him, I cried. The way cancer kills a body is so devastating and it makes me so angry. I spent a lot of time with my Papa just holding his hand, talking to him, and looking at him. Even though I don't know if my Papa knew I was in the room, I know he could hear me talking because hearing is the last thing a person loses right before they die. My Papa held my hand so tightly that day it made me laugh. His touch was warm, just like it always is. And he would squeeze my hand and I would squeeze back. Being able to sit and watch him was amazing, the coolest moment in my entire life! I felt like I was in a scene in a movie but it was so much better than a scene because it was real and unique and special in its very own way. A little while later in the afternoon a pastor came and he prayed and talked with my Papa and then he asked me to go in the room with him and we prayed together. It was so sweet because the pastor prayed a lot for my Nana. That my Nana would be comforted and not burdened when my Papa left her and that she would be at peace with the situation, never fully of course but not lonely. We then continued to talk about the Bible, God's character, how its not God who causes pain and suffering because he loves us too much. I left that night feeling pretty at peace with the whole situation, knowing that I had placed it in God's hands and it was now up to God to decide the ultimate decision and time that my Papa would return to him at the gates. I'll be honest. I spent most of the car ride home in tears and just worried for my Nana and my dad. BUT when I returned home I found out that my Papa had accepted Jesus into his life with my uncle Chuck...WHAT?! I was overjoyed. Filled with awe. Totally speechless.

My Papa was baptized later on during the week. This whole situation has really strengthened my faith. God has shown me through faith and life how powerful he is. That is he the one in control and will change people's hearts. We cannot place the burden on ourselves and his timing is perfect. He knew my Papa's situation and what was going to happen. My Papa accepted Christ into his life right when he needed to and God knew that. It was all a part of his plan. God has also shown to me through faith that he wants everyone to come to know him so that everyone can spend eternity with him. God loves us that much. I still cannot comprehend his love for me and I don't think I ever will. I know his love for my Papa was deep and wanted so badly and he got it, he finally got it!

While my Papa is no longer here, he is in Heaven. I know God is taking care of him now and there is nothing to worry about. My Papa fought such a hard, tough battle. He held on until the very last moment. He was such a tough man, a fighter. He provided for his family and at one time worked three jobs so my Nana could stay at home and raise four children. He left my Nana so well off she has nothing to worry about because he loved her so much and was a constant provider. My Papa's spirit lives on here with us. While I am sad that my Papa never got to meet the man I will one day marry, whoever it may be, be at my college graduation, sitting in the front row of my wedding in awe of my beauty, or to see my children, I have such an amazing story to tell...his story of love, of power, of family, and of truth. I love you Pup!